I think i should quit collecting iron man points and with that most of my pokerplaying. I don’t play because i realy like to anymore. Just want the points done and quit for the day - usualy losing. Coinflips here, badbeats there. My heart isn’t in it anymore. Guess I could keep the roll there until I need it or feel like playing again but when this month is done…nah.

After winning a couple hundred and then losing near four hundred yesterday I decided to skip the whole Partypoker bonus thing. Big big swings but those points move in snail speed anyway.  Those $500 or even if I just managed to the first $100 checkpoint is not nearly worth the strain. It’s a near scam by Partypoker which certainly lowered my trust in them. I won back a hundred on Full Tilt today to ease my mind about it some but couldn’t muster to reach the 50 points for iron man today. Got a few more days I can be lazy for before the status goes belly up. I have only $80 left to collect from my FT deposit bonus now. After that I imagine I will get working on my small $25 bonus on Pokerstars.

Action been kinda low around the pokertable. Bankroll isn’t going anywhere at all mostly and it just feels like there’s no gain. Been playing barely enough to keep my FT iron man status alive but today i saw that Partypoker had a 100% deposit deal of up to $500 and thought what the heck. Turns out they want a whooping 4000 Partypoints in _10_ days to release all of that… Considering you get 2 points per raked $1 that is FRAKKIN much. Looks like i’m gonna be a pokerslave for the next few days, unless i bust first…

Played five sit n go’s this morning, results:

KK got busted by A3 catching A
AA got <beep>ed by KK catching K
KK got mooed at by 97 catching 77
95 two paired got outdrawn by 63s catching flush
…and in the last one i was down to 200 chips after comming allin on the flop earlier on with KQ-K23 vs a guy with TT . Ofcourse he catched T on the turn… however i managed to work my way up to second place in that one after all. Some bandaid to the losses!

EDIT: I spent the evening playing a $26 deepstack MTT and it was fun once again but geez it’s so unworthy when you don’t reach the final table. I could have spent 30 minutes winning a 6man to get better money than ending up #33 in a 706 man and get $59. I had incredible luck quite a few times and was considering for a while if all the badbeats had piled up to hand me a realy lucky tourney instead. With 45 players left I was #2 but a lowstack catching a better pocket and losing QQ against an AK bigstack was pretty much all it took. So in the end I spent 4 some hours to earn those measly $33 extra bucks. Sigh…

Went into the hot zone again today joining a $75 441 player deepstack 6man table MTT. Good excitement. Was #2 at some point and had a stack of 19.000 but I don’t know what happened realy. Took a few small losses and blinds kept eating. In the end when the bubble finaly bursted I decided to take on a guy that had stolen way too many blinds. That one time he had catched AA and I went out at the very first money spot #54. $136 (minus buyin) is not a lot percentagewise but quite alright moneywise.

My bankroll is back up where it was before my big crash. Time to go plus again!

Playing poker is a real big drainer of psychological energy. There have been times I have had doubts in wether poker was the actual reason for me getting so fatigued and generaly tired at times but i am sure now. After this MTT my head is feeling all kinds of heavy and used up so i think it’s sleeping time for me.

Happy day, my rakeback site finaly paid out my rakeback a couple days later than promised. $113 not too shabby. Having decent days but i keep ending up on the bubble in the MTT’s so it could been alooot better.

Seriously there’s so many badbeats happening around me at this time and mostly at FT. Not only against me but in my favour too and for other people as well. The flop just NEVER holds up no mater the odds. I’m seriously considering spending a day or two observing tables and counting odds versus result cause this is rubbbish. Constant crap odds cards coming out of everywhere in nonfavourable flops. It’s like they rigged it for excitement. No use showing off examples, you know the deal 5,4,3,2 and 1 outers.

Was at the Casino in Gothenburg yesterday and it looked good until I came allin on the flop with AA versus AQs on a Jack high flushdraw board. He hit the flush ofcourse and I lost a pot for $1000. Made the whole night suck moneywise and otherwise. Getting up to school 3 hours after going to sleep wasn’t too nice either but that’s another story.

I don’t know what it is about high stakes (well all is relative) but i seem to win more in games with higher buyins. More or less my only profit today came from a $33 6man but it was enough to go plus. I’m almost taking for granted Full Tilt will feed me a number of badbeats much larger than the percentage they represent nowadays but it was kind of bad today too. Was 2 outed 3 times. Well it’s a new day with new chances tomorrow!

Finaly had a decent day profitwise unless I manage to screw it up in the evening. I’m considering if I should play more cashgames, might be easier with more fish going for cashgames first etc.

In other news i’m trying to improve my blindstealing. Weighing the number of times to go out of line to get the extra edge. Getting there i think.

Started playing at pokerstars today. The people at the irc channel #poker@Efnet had a little private tourney mostly for bragin rights i suppose. Ended up 5 or 6 out of 8 but it was alright. Also entered a $11 Nordic mtt that was granted for making a deposit (though I had to mail support twice to actualy make it so) and ended up in the lower range of in the money after a badbeat from AT v J5 (the J5 guy called preflop allin for a whole lot more than he should have).

The last week have been quite bad. There’s seemingly no end to the badbeats. I get all sorts. KK v AK, KK v K7, A9 v 98. It’s like full tilt want the hands to get exciting, the flop never holding up. I know how it sounds but it’s a month without any increase in the bankroll now. What happened? 15 days of constant wins then just nothing? Weird. A friend talks about variance and how he’s gonna share roll with a friend to easen the swings. I don’t know, I like to hold my own. Would be sweet though to just let someoene else do the work every now and then.

As it is now there sure isn’t any signs of me going pro. I’m going to school, like it or not.